Fall was rolling in–the time where cool weather was a novelty and well-received break from the heat of summer, before it became an inescapable, never ending cold. To most students, such weather was simply a decorative background to the drudgery of classes and other obligations. Classes always picked up pace around this time, and it was easy to get absorbed in the work without much regard to the changing outside world.
Morishige maintained a softness in his heart for the romance of the season, while simultaneously holding contempt for his ever-increasing academic workload. The seasonal imagery of huddling together with loved ones and enjoying the shifting hues of local flora was heartwarming to Morishige, but a part of him felt seething jealousy seeing other people enjoying these times in ways he couldn’t due to his lack of close connections. Thankfully, he had recently made a connection– though he wouldn’t necessarily call it a close one– that could help temporarily assuage these woes.
Morishige had recently been offering to spend time with Kizami, a newfound acquaintance from another school. When Morishige didn’t have to go to drama club (or felt like skipping because he was having a fit), he’d ask if Kizami was available for grabbing food or studying together. There was no drama club meeting after school today, and the last few hours of class had led Morishige to daydreaming about romantic fall get-togethers.
Fantasized imagery of watching the leaves fall and cuddling up to a loved one in the brisk weather entertained his thoughts away from boring lecture material. The unattainability of such fantasies began to annoy him to the point that he decided to do something about it. He slipped his phone out of his pocket during lecture and texted Kizami, the only person other than Mayu that he felt comfortable approaching with social affairs.
Are you free this afternoon? <
> Yes, what’s up
No club today, I would like to grab coffee if you’re interested. <
We could also study afterwards. <
Morishige looked up from his phone while waiting for a reply, feigning paying attention to class. Mayu was usually his first choice for after-school obligations (or rather, he was her first choice), but she stated during lunch she was busy with family affairs that evening.
> I would be interested. I’ll text you when I’m out of class
Morishige lightly sighed as he put his phone back into his pocket. The reply stopped some of his more negative ruminations. He could temporarily stop feeling isolated from his peers and their ingroups and instead focus on his own, the one he created with Kizami just now.
After packing up for the day and saying his goodbyes, Morishige started his walk over to a local coffee shop that he and Kizami had agreed to meet at. The outside air was refreshing after being stuffed inside classrooms all day, and the walk to the shop felt like it eased up the stiffness from sitting at his desk. The walk was a bit out of the way compared to his usual route home, but not so much that it felt like a costly excursion. Upon arrival, Morishige briskly walked inside and placed his usual order of an iced coffee.
His mind wandered while he stood aimlessly waiting for both his drink and Kizami’s arrival, staring blankly at the decorative art while doing so. He thought about what drove him to ask Kizami to accompany him. While Morishige typically found himself festering ill-will and jealousy towards his peers, this was one of the few times he found himself actually doing something about it. What was it about Kizami that made Morishige want to reach out to him?
Kizami and Morishige had recently become friends. The circumstances were odd– Mayu apparently met one of Kizami’s close friends, Kurosaki, from volunteer work over the summer. A few months ago, Mayu had organized a day outing to a shopping center in an honest attempt to familiarize her variously sourced friends with each other, and Morishige found himself in an odd hodgepodge of high schoolers he had never met before. Kizami was one of the students in attendance. Morishige had quickly noted Kizami’s presence due to his sheer size, but they had no personal interactions with each other until that evening.
There was a movie theater in the shopping center, and Mayu pushed the group into watching a horror movie playing at the time. Morishige found himself the only person outwardly excited at the idea, as everyone else seemed apprehensive at best. After the movie, which Morishige enjoyed but found himself critiquing loudly outside the theater as he discussed with his peers, Kizami made his first remark that was directly addressed to Morishige.
“You certainly have a lot of negative things to say about this movie you also claim to have enjoyed.”
Kizami’s low voice, which he hadn’t used very much that day, caught Morishige’s attention.
“These critiques come from a place of adoration,” Morishige said while excitedly gesturing. “I had a great time watching the movie, but knowing it could have been so much better with slight changes in direction is just frustrating.”
Mayu, who was talking with another girl Morishige forgot the name of, briefly turned to the two of them. “Shige has a lot to say about horror movies. He could go on and on if you let him,” she quipped before turning back to her own conversation.
Kizami briefly raised his eyebrows at this intrusion before turning back to Morishige. “I assumed you were a fan of the genre when we were discussing before the movie,” Kizami said. His voice carried a hint of intrigue, which Morishige happily noted.
“Absolutely. It’s my favorite genre by a wide margin. Horror is such an expansive genre that has so much room for exploration compared to others…”
Morishige went on like this for some time, and Kizami goaded Morishige into sharing his clearly heartfelt opinions regarding cinematic media. Morishige certainly appreciated the attentive audience that Kizami was providing. After some back-and-forth, Kizami stated he’d be interested in watching more movies with Morishige in the future.
“You seem to be an interesting fellow. If Mayu seems squicked out by a movie you’re wanting to see, I’d be interested in watching something with you. Kurosaki is typically my partner when I’m wanting to watch something, but he’s grossed out by the more graphic stuff. He’s loyal only to a point.”
These were an interesting set of remarks. Morishige didn’t even know Kizami and Kurosaki were actually friends until that statement, and he wasn’t sure how to parse Kizami’s comment on Kurosaki being “loyal.” Kizami’s manner of speech was also unusual now that Morishige was actually listening to him talk.
This intrigue, and mostly the attention that Kizami was giving him, inclined him to agree to Kizami’s offering.
Morishige’s reminiscing was cut off by Kizami entering the cafe. He was still in his school uniform, and actually in his jacket this time around. The wallet chain at Kizami’s side made a recognizable rattle that drew Morishige’s attention. Kizami walked slowly over to Morishige, who was still standing waiting for his own drink.
“Sorry it took me so long. It’s a bit of a lengthy walk,” Kizami said while sweeping his hair back with his hand. “Did you already order?”
Morishige nodded. “It’s fine, I wasn't counting the time or anything. I'd rather put the burden of walking over on you, anyways." He detested the idea of breaking a sweat over a walk, and Kizami was the more willing of the two to commute. "I’m still waiting on my drink.”
Kizami walked over to the cashier and quickly ordered before walking back over.
“What did you get?” Morishige asked.
“A black coffee,” Kizami huffed.
Morishige made a questioning expression. “Are you planning on not sleeping tonight?”
Kizami smiled and jokingly replied, “Yes,” before turning to grab both of their now-finished drinks off the counter.
The two of them left the cafe and walked side-by-side for some time while slowly sipping their beverages. Morishige was mentally kicking himself for buying a cold drink, because he quickly found himself shivering and wishing his clothing was just a bit thicker when a strong breeze blew through. Kizami looked Morishige over as he took a sip from his coffee.
“You look like a miserable animal with how much you’re shivering. Do you want a sip of mine?”
Morishige looked over at Kizami, who had a completely neutral expression. “No, I don’t drink after people. But thanks.”
Kizami lightly shrugged. “Fine. Do you want to go inside where it’s warm instead?”
Morishige shook his head. “I signed up for this when I decided I wanted a cold drink. And I’m stubborn about enjoying the fall scenery.”
Kizami chuckled at Morishige’s remark. “Fair enough. Although, I don’t know how much you’ll enjoy it when you’re going to be preoccupied with freezing to death.”
They had decided to walk to a small recreational park nearby to enjoy the remainder of their drinks at. It hosted a small playground where neighborhood children were playing, and some pathways with surrounding greenery for walking. They walked through one of these paths together, making their way towards an empty bench. While the evergreen pines seemed untouched by fall, the large, flat leaves of the oaks and other deciduous trees they walked by were painted in warm, eye-catching hues. As they sat down together, Morishige silently considered to himself the poetic nature of how the dying throes of the leaves produced such beauty.
The two had been acquainted with each other for only a brief time, but they had developed a deep understanding of each other’s means of communication. Both were fairly introverted, but indulged in cycles of talking at length to each other, to not speaking at all when in each other’s company. Presently, they had spoken little on the way over to the park. They wordlessly sat and let the autumn air comfortably hang around them for some time.
Morishige shivered and broke the silence first. “While I was waiting for you, I was thinking about when we met. That day Mayu took us all shopping.”
Kizami nodded slowly, facing away from Morishige, seemingly staring at nothing.
“That evening, I remember you were grilling me with questions regarding my opinions on the movie we watched. It made me think that I don’t particularly do the same thing to you and your interests.”
Kizami slightly turned his head. “I don’t volunteer that information as readily as you do. Back then, I was asking about your thoughts because I thought you were quite entertaining,” Kizami scoffed. “Most people enjoy things like movies, but not so much that they’ve formed their own opinion that isn’t completely regurgitated from someone smarter than them.”
Morishige squinted a little. “I’m unsure if you’re trying to compliment me, or if you think I’m pathetic for caring about things.”
Kizami turned to face Morishige. “Perhaps, a bit of both.” He exhaled in a way that was barely registerable as a laugh.
Kizami finding him pathetic didn’t particularly offend Morishige–if anything, he was glad Kizami was honest with him. In truth, Morishige also looked down at Kizami in certain ways. Despite his taller, imposing stature, Kizami obviously prefers to be in the background when in a group. To Morishige, who eats up any attention given to him, the fact that Kizami doesn’t utilize his strengths is disappointing.
While Morishige loves nitpicking others in his head, he decided now wasn’t the time. He was glad that Kizami decided to spend time with him. Kizami has no choice but to be an active participant when the two of them are together. As far as Morishige can tell, Kizami seems to have fun with this change in pace because he was willing to say completely outlandish things that Morishige is unsure he would say around other people.
Kizami spoke up again, this time looking back out at the park scene in front of them. “Why did you invite me out here today?”
“I was distracted in-class today, thinking about the weather recently,” Morishige stated meekly while shuffling in place a bit. “The cool temperatures we’ve been having lately are an excellent excuse to indulge in nostalgia. I figured I needed to use this opportunity to loiter around with another melancholy high schooler.”
Kizami creased his eyebrows. “You really talk like an old man sometimes. So you decided to reach out to me, the spitting image of a miserable high schooler?”
“You’re really my only choice besides Mayu, and she was busy today.” Morishige ignored the comment about his speech patterns.
“Oh, so I was just your second pick.” Kizami said in a mocking tone. “Most people would be upset with you if you told them that, you know.”
Morishige thinned his lips. Kizami certainly had a point, and Morishige knew he was the less tactful of the two. However, he also knew that he didn’t particularly try to be polite around Kizami.
Kizami took an odd breath as though he was about to speak again, stopped himself, then started up again. “I'm thankful you extended the invitation, though.” He paused for a moment. “I'm looking for any excuse not to be at home right now.”
This was news to Morishige– he decided to pry further. “Is something going on?”
Morishige only had little glimpses into Kizami's home life. He knew Kizami had two siblings and married parents, but that was about the extent of his knowledge.
Kizami drew a deep breath before speaking. “My homelife tends to get stressful around this time of year. My father is currently preparing for end-of-year business affairs, and this tends to make him irritable when he’s home.”
While the fall weather had a grip on Morishige’s tendency to romanticize, it had the opposite impact on Kizami. He was acutely aware of the changing seasons, if only for the fact that such changes were more or less premonitions of the bad times to come. His father took the family business quite seriously, and the tensions tended to spill over into at-home conflicts. By the end of year, the house was practically a minefield of potential familial conflict. The fall air was a warning that Kizami found himself dreading more than welcoming.
“He’s wrapping up operations for the fiscal year, meaning it's a high-stakes time for the family business. So high-stakes that the stress of it makes him act out on everyone else in the house. I would rather just avoid all that, and company gives me an excuse to not be home.”
Morishige chewed on Kizami’s words before replying. “Do any of your other friends know this? Do they offer to spend time with you?”
“Kurosaki is about it,” Kizami sighed. “But I don't enjoy spending time with him as much as I do with you.”
Morishige's eyes widened at how forward Kizami’s statement was.
“Kurosaki is nice, but…” Kizami furrowed his brow a bit, seemingly in thought. “I feel like he's keeping an eye on me rather than actually enjoying my company. You’re different.”
Morishige was both flattered by the praise and sympathetic to Kizami’s woes. Kizami didn’t come across as the type of guy to be avoidant of something. It seemed as though nothing could phase him, but right now, he did seem a bit out of his element.
Kizami made a quick glance at Morishige before looking out at nothing again. “Sorry, I don’t usually get personal like this. It’s uncouth.”
Morishige made a concerned expression. He couldn’t tell if Kizami was upset, embarrassed, both, or neither, and his firm expression was unreadable from the side. At least Kizami was in a good-enough mood for bizarre word choices, but Morishige let that one slide. “It's alright,” Morishige said cautiously. “You probably needed to say something about it.”
Kizami said nothing in return. While that exchange was brief by their standards, it appeared to be rather taxing on Kizami’s end. Morishige looked on at Kizami’s profile, as though he was expecting him to say more, but Kizami continued to look aimlessly forward, avoiding eye contact. Morishige could at least make out the tension on Kizami’s face, and how his flowy hair wisped around the hard angles of his jaw. It looked rather nice, particularly with the afternoon sun bringing out typically undetectable hues of black. Morishige hadn't really taken a hard look at him before, but Morishige realized Kizami was actually quite the objectively handsome man.
A little taken back at how absurd the realization he had just made is, when Kizami was currently at his most vulnerable point since they had met, Morishige lowered his gaze from Kizami’s face. In his embarrassment, he foolishly decided to take a different approach and reached for Kizami’s hand, which he was currently gripping his own leg with. Kizami's expression shifted a bit as Morishige lightly placed his hand down, but he didn't move or fight off the gesture. The warmth of Kizami’s hand compared to Morishige’s cold one was immediately noticeable, and Morishige almost felt bad for touching him.
Despite this, Morishige decided to push on. “If you want, we can study at my place. My parents aren't exactly welcoming, but I assume it would be better than nothing.”
Kizami softened his gaze and eyed Morishige without turning. “Inviting me to your house? You should at least take me out to dinner first,” he said smugly.
Morishige retracted from Kizami, then quickly smacked Kizami’s hand, the one he was just attempting to soothe. “The hell? Why would you say that? You’re ruining the mood,” Morishige raised his voice in agitation and embarrassment.
Kizami shuffled back and gave an honest laugh, facing Morishige while lightheartedly shaking his beaten hand. “Sorry. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to get a rise out of you.”
Morishige didn't know how to respond without adding fuel to the fire, so he simply stood up and looked expectantly at Kizami, who had a pleased expression on his face. After a moment of forcing himself not to berate Kizami, Morishige spoke hesitantly. “Let's go before we run out of sun. It's a bit of a walk to my house.”
Kizami made a disappointed face before slowly standing and stretching. “Nothing else to say? Oh well.” He brought himself to Morishige’s side. “Lead the way.”
As they walked away from the bench, Morishige walked briskly past Kizami. Kizami had embarrassed him, Morishige pondered, but that quip was probably an attempt to change the topic away from Kizami's living situation. He wondered what made that topic so stressful for Kizami to discuss, and he hoped that Kizami would appreciate the escape that Morishige apparently was providing him this evening.